I will be 65 this July, and because of this I am trying very hard to be mature, but I must confess that I suspect I am failing because, as far as I am concerned, there is just too much silly fun to be had in life. For example . . . this week I found a wonderful way to take twenty pounds off my weight at the doctor's office.
All you need is a cane. I have a back and hip problem and so often will use a cane when out and about. My cane is called Eileen, because I lean on her. This week I was leaning on her when the nurse took my weight.
I decided to steady myself on the scales using Eileen. Not only was I steady but I was much lighter as well. I chuckled as the nurse told me my wonderfully new and lighter weight. I am assuming that she was having a bad day, because she never noticed my cane pushing down on the floor, talking a load of the weight off the scales. Perhaps, though, she assumed that a patient in his senior years would not purposely distort a clinical measurement.
Then I felt sort of bad and I confessed. I did not fully confess. I did not admit that I put the cane on the floor as a joke. All I said was that I noticed my cane was pressing against the floor and was probably messing up the reading. She re-weighed me and my miraculous weight loss disappeared instantly.
For next time I am thinking of holding my breath when she measures my oxygen level. . . but I will try to resist doing that. After all, I am working on being mature. Sort of like an aged cheese, I suppose.